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| Illustration courtesy Soul Centric |
1. The Great Big Cover-up
I have to be ultra-cautious about my clothes. I can't wear clothes that are too tightly-fitted or low neck or in any manner flattering to my natural contours. I have to wear dupatta at home and cover my undergarments with another piece of cloth after washing them. Use of words like 'bra', 'underpants', 'panties', 'tampons', 'sanitary pads' etc is a strict no-no and invites censorious glances and awkwardly-mumbled protestations about 'indecent language'. This kind of 'cover-up' is an unavoidable part of my existence, has been, ever since I can remember.
2. Disparity begins at home
My brother and his shenanigans are treated with way more tolerance than mine are. My parents are more understanding and accommodating with my brother. With me, they are impatient, barely on-the-edge and ready to lash out for doing the same things and making the same 'mistakes'. This attitude affects all facets of their interaction with the world in general and with women in particular.
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| Illustration courtesy Soul Centric |
3. I am a man, I come first
My mother cooks hot rotis while my father sits comfortably at the head of the dining table, reading a newspaper or browsing the net on his phone. My mother eats cold or barely-warm rotis after serving my father.
4. We don't speak directly to women
When my brother visited my family with his girlfriend some time ago, my father refused to speak to her directly or address her by name. He used my mother as the conduit and directed questions meant for my brother's girlfriend at my mother. This was a shocker even for me -- someone who feels she has seen everything.
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| Illustration courtesy Soul Centric |
5. What's Your Raashii, err, Caste?
My mother passes casual remarks about the caste of domestic helpers. She shows no concern about hurting their feelings. Her husband and their friends join in and have a good laugh over it.
6. Hypocrisy thy name is 'Religious'
My father is an alcoholic and was named in a sex scandal as an accused. He makes a big show of being religious and a family man. After being part of all kinds of dodgy activities, he tries to find refuge under the umbrella of religion.
Essentially, the way the world works is a direct extension of how my family operates, in relation to each other and to others outside the family unit. With this background, I am in a better position to make sense of and survive in this dystopian world.
Essentially, the way the world works is a direct extension of how my family operates, in relation to each other and to others outside the family unit. With this background, I am in a better position to make sense of and survive in this dystopian world.
